Troubled Times
by katinboots13713
Summary: Another short RoaldYuki, in which Princess Shinkokami finds them together.


_I thought I would lie__  
__when you found out why__  
__but you wouldn't cry__  
__worse, you walked away._

Yukimi noh Daiomoru stood pressed against a wall, slightly uncomfortably. His face was alarmingly close, and she had time to stare into the eyes, empty and alone. His eyelashes were spiked. Then he kissed her.  
She had never been kissed in this way. Yamani men had only danced with her, talked with her, all this with expressionless masks. She realised she didn't miss that part of the Islands, though she found it hard to rid herself of the habit.  
But this was different. This was Roald, the only man she had loved, the man who loved her. This wasn't some delicate Yamani who treated her like a flower. This was Roald, who treated her like herself, who laughed with her. This was the prince of Yuki's dreams, but a princess's reality.  
Yuki relaxed, and kissed back hungrily, envying all the girls who wore tunics. His lips brushed against her collarbones, and kissed her neck. She shivered from the treatment; it was so different.  
Roald broke away suddenly and stepped back.  
"We can't do this. Think of Shinkokami, and your family honour, and-"  
Yuki pulled herself towards him and kissed him, before saying:  
"I don't care."  
She didn't, until Princess Shinkokami came into the quarters she shared with her fiancée.  
"Roald…?"

_I thought we were friends__  
__I would make amends__  
__but to reach dead ends__  
__when you took my man._

Princess Shinkokami sat down on her bed, emotions running through her. First of all, anger. She had thought that Roald had loved her. She had thought that they would be married happily, although she had known one thing before, which meant she could never love Roald…  
She shook the thought out of her head. She could not think about that. There were more important things to think about than her true love. She had to marry Roald, to ensure the Islands had an alliance with Tortall. But that didn't mean that she didn't have a chance. A chance with Kel.  
She thought of that face, from the time she was a child to the time she was what she was now, complete with freckles. She remembers the moments when Kel was a foreigner, when she got accepted by Yamanis, and when her mother rescued the sacred swords. She remembers, and sees her again as a grown girl, beautiful and strong.  
But it will never happen, thought Shinko.  
And that made her more unhappy than the sight of her fiancée and her lady-in-waiting in love.

_I thought it was wrong__  
__gone on for so long__  
__but I wasn't strong__  
__enough to tell her._

Prince Roald of Conté stood in the Throne Room, trying to realise why what he had done was wrong. It wasn't as if he and Shinko were married, although they were betrothed. Maybe he did know what he did wrong, but he didn't know why.  
His father would never understand. He had fallen in love with a suitable woman. The fact that Roald's marriage was a treaty was even worse.  
But why was it wrong to show affection for the one you loved? He would get married, yes, but why couldn't he stay with his lover? Shinkokami would understand. Or would she?  
He remembered what he and Shinko had done, and winced. Had he always been giving out vibes that he loved her? He didn't know what he had done, being too preoccupied. 

_What in Mithros' name am I meant to do?_

If only he could explain to the princess. She would stare at him in that Yamani way, and be brave, holding her chin up high. She would not cry or laugh. She would stare, accusing, pitying, unhappy-but never helpful. She would not forgive him. And neither would he.  
Did he love Yuki? Or was he using her, just to escape royal clutches? He suddenly realised he was just like his father with the Lioness.

_Am I doing this for love, or hate?_

He didn't have time to answer before someone knocked on the door. He didn't open it, left the person to walk away with quiet footsteps, not knowing whether it was his love or his betrothed. He left both of them behind, not caring anymore, sinking into sleep.

_It's my life __  
__It's now or never __  
__I ain't gonna live forever __  
__I just want to live while I'm alive __  
__It's my life_** Bon Jovi, 'It's my Life'**


End file.
